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One of the things I loved about moving from a big city to the country was looking up at night and seeing countless stars, including the Milky Way. Over the years that view has been diminished by light pollution from proliferating mercury vapor yard lights and other obtrusive illumination. The Milky Way has become a rare sight in these parts. If I go out for a walk before sunup, there are areas where I have trouble seeing where I'm going because of all the damned lights glaring in my eyes. When I'm away from the lights, the road is easily visible by moonlight, or even by starlight.

It wouldn't be so bad if people just turned on the lights when they needed them. But they leave the stupid things on at all hours. And what is the point of this pointless pollution? I'm sure the perpetrators would claim that they're keeping away burglars. Yeah, right. That's why brilliantly lit big cities have no burglaries. I eat kimchi at every meal because it keeps elephants out of my yard.

My modest proposal is that all you folks who want to live lit up like the state prison move to town.

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